The Mouse, the Monster & Me

Assertiveness for Young People

For Ages 8 & Up

Engaging artwork and exercises illustrate aggressive “monster” and passive “mouse” behaviors, helping young readers identify these characteristics in themselves and in others. This book explores the “me” communication style, based on rights, responsibility, and respect. It teaches healthy non-violent conflict management skills that help kids stop being—or attracting—bullies. When youngsters learn how to assert themselves appropriately, they gain self-esteem and safer, happier relationships.

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89 pages (English)icon-amazon
Paperback: 978-1-64704-551-7 $14.95
Ebook: 978-1-64704-550-0 $4.95
Ages 8 and up
Grade Levels 3-5 +
Editions: Impact > Uplift Press > Boulden > Uplift Press

“Pat Palmer has the gift of speaking to and for children. In a time when children are bombarded on all sides by destruction media messages, her books help children understand the value of kindness and caring—including kindness and caring for oneself.”Riane Eisler, author of The Chalice and The Blade, Tomorrow’s Children, and The Real Wealth of Nations

“The Mouse, the Monster and Me is a valuable and empowering book.”Michele Borba, Ed.D., The Big Book of Parenting Solutions and Building Moral Intelligence

“The Mouse, the Monster and Me focuses on the importance of finding a balance between one’s aggressive inner ‘monster’ and one’s passive inner ‘mouse,’ helping the readers identify these behaviors in themselves and others. It teaches healthy non-violent conflict management skills that are more vital than ever in today’s increasingly interdependent society.”Midwest Book Review

“My son gave this book the best endorsement any mother could ever hear: ‘You know that book about the monster and the mouse, Mom?’ said my son as he smiled into the sun. ‘It’s like it was written just for me. How did the author know I struggle with stuff like this?’ I wiped away a silent tear. You’re one step closer to you, I whispered inwardly thanking Pat Palmer and Dr. Hart for their efforts to fill my little boy’s heart with all the joy he deserves.”Christine Louise Hohlbaum, author, The Power of Slow

“This book is a tool for transforming the identities of children and parents from possibly monster-y and mouse-y—with the distress of pain, sorrow, guilt and anger—to a search for the ‘me’ in them. Highly recommended.”Michelle Brenner, Conflict Resolution Consultant in Family, Community, Government and Workplace, Sydney, Australia

“Great books for helping children understand themselves and each other. Each book is helpful in promoting discussion, understanding, and resolution between monster and mice siblings.”Sue Patton Thoele, grandmother, The Courage To Be Yourself and The Mindful Woman

Also available in Spanish, German, and other languages.

More Reviews

“This simple, clever, and inspiring book can also help adults who are working toward healing old childhood wounds. I highly recommend it for everyone—including teachers and therapists who help empower others.”Trina Swerdlow, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and author of

“I wish that I had read The Mouse, the Monster and Me as a child because I used to be the ‘mouse’ being walked on by the ‘people monsters.’ The beauty is that it’s never too late.”Mama Sparkles Review

“One of my students’ favorite tools. They relate to the ‘mouse’ and ‘monster’ analogies and learn to identify those behaviors in themselves and others. A great resource for parents and professionals to use with kids. The activities and discussions are perfect for families or guidance groups.”
Elementary School Psychologist and Amazon reviewer

The Mouse, the Monster and Me is a must-have book for every parent and teacher! I read it to my children who learned how to handle themselves in situations where they felt overwhelmed or enraged. Thank you for making this valuable resource available again.”Janet, Fort Wayne, IN

“We have had a lot of trouble with my son being a bully (he has aggression issues as part of his Autism) and I LOVED how this book talked about the Monster and what it feels like in your body and mind to be that Monster. Brilliant!”Tarasview

It is not good to be a Mouse and let everyone walk all over you. It is not healthy or wise to be a Monster and attack those who disagree with you. It is wonderful and secure and happy to be ME—non-threateningly assertive in positive ways that encourage others also to be themselves. If everyone lived by the lessons in this book, there would perhaps be no wars, crime, or divorce! The lessons are that powerful. Every person any age needs this book.”Bonnie Neely, Amazon Reviewer

“The topics covered are essential to help children develop into healthy adults. I have not found anything like it on the market. I plan to use this book with second through fifth graders as well as reading it to my own children. So excited to have found it!”Elizabeth Ledford, Elementary School Counselor

“It is recommended that Palmer’s The Mouse, the Monster and Me be used because passive, assertive, and aggressive responses are defined and assertive responses are demonstrated.”Vincent B. Van Hasselt, Michel Hersen, editor of The Handbook of Psychological Treatment Protocols for Children and Adolescent

Reviews by Kids

“Now I know how to be assertive and say ‘no.’ I also know how to give compliments. Thank you for inventing this. I really appreciate it.”Nisha, Fifth Grader

“I used to be a mouse and now I’m assertive.”Jennifer, Third Grader

“The crash course in school made me assertive instead of a monster.”Rick

“I learned that I have a lot of things that only I am in control of, like what I do at school, how I do my homework, and if I’ll get a good job or not.”Brian

“I guess at times I can be a mouse or a monster but hopefully I can live the rest of my life like an assertive person. What I liked best was ‘How to Say No.’ I think that will help me out a lot when I get into Junior High and High School.”Ashley

Teachers Guide

Our free Teachers Guide provides lessons for each chapter, allowing students time to explore concepts in greater depth and gain a deeper understanding.

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Now Available in Spanish!


“Su libro es una enseñanza muy buena para mi en mi vida personal.Muchas gracias.”Odilia

The Mouse, the Monster and Me and the companion book, Liking Myself, help youngsters develop social and emotional skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.

About Pat Palmer, Ed.D.

A therapist and former director of the Assertiveness Training Institute of Denver, Pat Palmer was a clinical psychologist who wrote many books for children, teens, and adults. She lectured throughout the U.S. on assertiveness and personal development. In addition to raising two daughters of her own, she worked professionally in a wide variety of children’s programs, including the New Jersey Youth Employment Services, the YMCA and the YWCA.

Keywords: bullying, bully, conflict resolution, anger children, children behavior, assertiveness, building self esteem, disruptive behavior, self esteem activities, child discipline, bully proof, bully proofing, self help, anger management, behavior problems, conflict resolution, self development, bully-proof, child abuse, self-esteem, violence prevention